Not Forgotten - Part One

by Khaki, Charon, Ally, and Kari Jo - Holly


After five years of searching, five years of tracking down leads on a past he still barely knew, he was finally going home. 'Home.' In all his remembered life, he never thought he'd find a place he could call home. It'd taken some getting used to. The search for his past had helped him get away, given him time to do some serious thinking.

After five years of following lead after lead, he'd realized that it would probably take the rest of his future to discover all of his past. It was a price he realized he wasn't willing to pay. There was someone waiting for him. Someone who had his dogtags as well as his heart. She would be about 21 now, and he couldn't wait to see how the girl he had known had changed, becoming the woman he wanted to know.

He hadn't talked to her in years. Most of the leads had taken him out of the country or to out-of-the-way places without phones, he reasoned. Hell, who was he kidding? He'd been scared. That's right, just plain scared that if he talked to her, he wouldn't be able to stay away. He'd give up his search for the past and come running back to her. Of course, that's what he was doing now, but he didn't care. She *was* his future, dammit. It'd taken that long to get it through his thick metal skull that his past didn't matter if he didn't have her.

**********

He arrived at the mansion in the early evening. He was surprised to find that even after so long, the security system was programmed to allow him entry. Parking Cyke's motorcycle in front of the porch, Logan grabbed his duffle bag and hurried up the steps to the front door. He wondered whether he should knock or just walk in, when the door opened and the professor greeted him.

"Logan, welcome home."

"Good to be back, Chuck."

"If you have time, I'd like to discuss..."

Logan picked up her scent, different, but the same, all at once. "Later. I've got someone to say 'hi' to."

"Actually, we really need to discuss..." the professor began, but Logan left him to search out Marie. Her scent lead into the common room, but when he looked around at the teenagers and young adults, he couldn't see her. Closing his eyes, he breathed in deeply, concentrating on finding her by scent alone. There she was, over to his right by the foosball table.

Opening his eyes, he was stunned to see the young woman playing with two of her peers. It wasn't Marie. She was about the same size, but her hair was bleach blonde and cropped short. He could smell the chemicals from here. Not only that, but she was wearing a tank top and shorts. Her scent was Marie, but her appearance was all wrong. Could she have gained control over her powers in the time he was gone?

"Marie," he called, walking over to the table. He knew she heard him, but she didn't respond to her name. Reaching her side, he touched her arm and looked into the face he'd been dreaming of for years as she turned to face him.

"Yes?" she asked, her voice calm, if slightly confused. Her face was the same, except for an old scar that ran from her forehead down to her chin on the right side.

"Marie? What happened?" he asked, reaching out to touch the scar. She flinched away from his familiarity.

"I think you've got me confused with someone else. My name's Carol."

"No, I'm not confused. Marie... Rogue, what happened to you."

At the use of her codename, recognition dawned on Marie's face.

'It's about time!' Logan thought, but his hope was dashed when she replied.

"Oh, you knew Rogue? I'm sorry no one told you, but she's dead."

*SNIKT* The claws were out without conscious thought. Marie wasn't dead; she was standing right in front of him. Why was she acting this way? Why didn't she recognize him?

"Logan," a deep male voice called to him from the hallway. The professor had caught up to him. "Are you ready to talk now?"

**********

"What's going on? Why doesn't she recognize me? Why does she think her name is Carol? Why didn't you call me when this happened? What..."

"We didn't call you because you'd been gone for two years and didn't seem to care." Cyclops interrupted.

*SNIKT*

"Logan," Jean shouted, putting herself between her husband and the dangerous man. "Calm down."

"Calm down?!?"

"Logan," Ororo cut in, her soothing, relaxed voice interrupting his ranting. "We're trying to answer your questions, if you'll just give us a chance."

Logan stopped his pacing to focus his attention on the professor. "Ok, Chuck, hit it."

"It happened about three years ago. Rogue was driving herself and a classmate, Carol Danvers, to the community college when they were broadsided by a drunk driver. They were both badly injured and rendered unconscious. Rogue was in her seatbelt, but Carol wasn't, and their skin touched. By the time rescue personnel arrived, Carol was dead. Rogue was in the hospital, unconscious for days, and when she woke up, she was Carol."

"It doesn't work like that. She keeps her own personality when she absorbs other people."

"Rogue never absorbed another person completely before. Also, her mutation went away."

"What?"

"Surely you noticed that Carol doesn't wear gloves. Her only mutations are the flying and strength that she had in her old body. Also, she doesn't have access to the other personalities Rogue absorbed prior to her."

"This isn't right. That's Marie in there."

"That's Carol in there. She's just in Marie's body."

"How do you know? Did you check her?"

"I did a surface scan, but Carol is reluctant to have a deeper psychic scan. I'm respecting her privacy."

"But what if Rogue is trapped in there and this Carol girl is controlling..."

"She's not. There's never been any indication of that."

"But what if she is?"

**********

Marie was surrounded by darkness. It was warm and safe. She didn't have to think about how Logan'd left her, how he didn't come back after the accident, and how he didn't care about her at all. Carol had been angry. She'd wanted to live, while Marie was close to giving up. It had been so easy to just surrender. She hadn't regretted it, until she heard his deep, rich voice again, calling her name.

"Marie."

**********

"I understand your concern, Logan. However, having observed her for the past three years we have come to a unified decision."

Logan frowned at the Professor's tact. "And you've never once questioned this *unified* decision?" Logan looked about the adults in the room. Jean bit her lip, but looked at him confidently. Behind her, Scott was nodding slowly. Logan wanted to slice away those looks. Confidence, utter trust in their decision... a complete faith that Marie was dead.

There was a moment there, and he hated himself for it, but he wondered if maybe they were right. To hell with the moral code of the telepaths, Marie would have made some emergence if she was there... they'd been watching her for three years. Three years.

He felt himself condemning her to a grave and howling into the darkness of the mind, but something stopped him.

Ororo Munroe stood on the other side of Xavier's desk. She'd been characteristically silent, nodding with Xavier's words. But when Logan, bitter and angry, had looked for the cold acceptance on her face he'd seen something else.

Doubt.

And the fact that someone there... just one person... wasn't as confident as Xavier had decided they should be, was enough to silence the internal fury. Storm looked at him, jerking her face fully to meet his and he saw the doubt melt away to a detached expression. But it was too late, Logan broke a smile for her – the slightest affection he could dare in the room. Storm's eyes widened in panic, and she put her hands up and shook her head.

"No, Logan – we all-"

"Save it, `Ro," he clipped.

He strutted past her, murmuring a thanks as the rest of the room wondered what had transpired.

**********

He couldn't see her right away. It was too surreal, too confusing. Wolverine sensed Marie and Logan saw Carol.

He'd accepted Xavier's offer of a room, pettily smug at Scott's insistent protests. This way he could have more time to think, knowing there'd be plenty of time to act later and not wanting to mess that up at least. Carol – no, Marie – would be at dinner. He could watch her then, start feeling his way into her life, then her mind...

"So you'll be staying here a bit?" a slight, raven-haired woman asked as she peered in the doorway.

Logan sat on the bed, wrestling off his boots. He looked at her and tried to place the face, but the last time he had been here was brief and her scent only skated over the memories of that week.

"Yeah," he muttered and continued unknotting the straps.

The woman, a girl really, assumed she was welcome into the room and stood near the bed, holding out her hand.

"I'm Jubilee. You probably don't know me, but I'm a-" she choked then and Logan looked at her. The girl shook her head and smiled, "I was a friend of Rogue's."

Logan looked at her hand for a long moment, before putting his out and shaking firmly. Jubilee grinned in relief and sunk onto the bed next to him. She was introducing herself and telling him about the most recent events when he interrupted her.

"Where's she now?"

Jubilee was startled by the sudden growl and jittered on the bedspread. She wasn't sure what she expected, but knew conversation wasn't a big thing of his from Rogue's recollections.

"Uhh... Carol?" Jubilee questioned.

Jubilee realized that probably wasn't the most tactful thing to say, but his face was unreadable and his muscles weren't bristling with the words at least.

"Yeah... Carol," he stated softly.

"After the daily foosball victory, her and John went walking," Jubilee replied, drifting off as she tilted her head. She thought she'd heard someone hiss her name. Logan hadn't reacted so she dismissed it.

"Yeah – Carol and John have been getting real chummy lately and everyone's been wondering whether, ummm-"

Logan shot her a look, daring her to continue at her own risk, but she wasn't even looking at him. Her brow was furrowed and her head cocked. He wondered if that had anything to do with the person outside the door, who would occasionally pop her head around the corner and hiss Jubilee's name.

"You might as well come in," Logan called to the door.

Jubilee looked puzzled, before another young woman entered hesitantly. Her face was flushed with embarrassment and Kitty was inwardly berating herself.

"Uhh – hi," Kitty smiled anxiously before taking a step back.

"Hey Kits! I told you he wouldn't bite," Jubilee leapt up, stopping her friend from escaping.

"Let me guess – another friend of Rogue's?" Logan queried. Kitty smiled her affirmation.

"And Carol's," she added.

"Well, it's great to meet you Kitty. And it's been a real pleasure. But would you two mind getting the hell out of my room?" Logan growled and herded them to the door. Jubilee pulled a face and muttered something about Rogue being right. Kitty and Jubilee were both pushed roughly into the corridor, where Jubilee continued grumbling at the indignity of it all and how everything had been fine `til Kitty had rocked along.

He fixed one palm onto the door to close it, but Kitty stood there and stared at him.

"What?" his voice was laced with angry boredom.

"How long do you think someone can survive alone?" Kitty asked. A metre away Jubilee was pulling at her clothes, oblivious to her friend's words. But Logan's ears picked up every word. "With nothing but their thoughts and their mind, nothing but themselves... How long can they stay sane?" she whispered.

"From personal experience?" he retorted. Kitty's eyes widened, oblivious to the Wolverine's very way of life. "Longer than three years."

And he slammed the door.

Inches of mahogany can keep out most voices, especially when murmured, but Logan could swear he heard as she and Jubilee walked away... `I hope.'

*SNIKT* Logan's claws bit into the door, before he retracted them. A few moments later he was basking under forgiving fingers of water, washing away so many years of wandering and wondering how to reach Marie.


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